So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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