smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
