What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I pour the whiskey from now on
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize