Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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