another moral hangover. fuck.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
