ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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