we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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