this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
