did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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