her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
