Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
