walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
