Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
