Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
