Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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