i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
