what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
