I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
