She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
