Im at strip club and am horny
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Did we literally take a cab across the street
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
