Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
