Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
