The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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