How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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