R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
