we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize