I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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