Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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