Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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