we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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