pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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