sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Acid is not a monday night drug
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
