Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize