you lied. pity sex is amazing.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
