you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I am mentally ready for anal.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
