This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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