her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize