Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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