just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
