Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
