so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
