I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
