Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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