they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
