I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
