are you so shy because you have an std?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
