some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
