that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Randomize
