Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
