What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
