WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
