i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize