yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
false alarm. still invincible.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
