Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We left the knife in your bed.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
