i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize