I'm really into asian looking animals
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
