eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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