im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
