This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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