what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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