What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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