I never want to see another naked old woman again.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
