Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
it's like iHOP with fire
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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