So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
