just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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