Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
