Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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