Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize