Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
