you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
