She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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