I think I am morally bankrupt
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
