i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
