Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
