He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
