Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize